Fairies Destroy Greenbelt

Well, sort of. It seems that in the lovely English county of Somerset there's a problem with fairies, elves, pixies, good folk, or (if you're C.S. Lewis) the 'longaevi' - it means longlivers. However long they may live, the problem is that in recent years the Somerset fairies have abandoned the classic mini-hill fort architectural stylings of their ancestors in favour of something tackier.

Volunteers managing Wayford Woods in the Somerset village of Wayford, near Crewkerne, acted after being overwhelmed by more than 100 fairy doors that had mysteriously appeared at the bases of their beech, ash and oak trees. 

Sometimes tiny doll’s house chairs and beds would be found behind the doors, and delighted children would flock from far and wide to leave notes for the fairies – reassuring them that they believed they exist, and asking them to grant wishes.

All very well, but as someone observed, 'it has all gone mad on the internet'.

“Last year,” said Ms Acreman, “an entire fairy playground appeared at the bottom of the woods, complete with 2ft slides and swings. Some doors are far from the paths, so when children go to see them, the bluebells get trampled.”

I am against trampling bluebells. I think the fairies in Somerset need to get their act together and start enchanting peasants, abducting passing blokes, inspiring weird painters, and generally act in accordance with their traditional values. This consumerist outburst in Faerie is just as ludicrous as it is in the world of us larger folk. If the fey folk are expecting their property values to go up indefinitely they're more confused than Tam Lyn. It will only take one good storm to bring them down, in many cases quite literally.

C.S. Lewis. In his excellent book Discarded Image he does not mention fairy soft-play areas, decking, or conservatories