Wednesday, 5 August 2009

The Ghostly Lighthouse Keeper

Now this is just confusalatory. Somebody thinks a lighthouse is haunted. Good! Carry on. But wait - somebody now wants to put a statue of the ghost on the lighthouse so it will become a sort of tourist attraction.

How offensive is this to the original, real ghost? It's like leaving a message on someone's answerphone saying: 'Well, Tracy, you were obviously too busy to come to the pub last night, so we've bought an inflatable replica of you with a built-in tape recorder that recites inanities about reality TV shows and lady complaints, so we need never be without your contribution to our social lives ever again.' 

I really regret doing that. She never spoke to me again. But let's get back to the lighthouse...

The lighthouse's owners, Talacre Beach Caravan Sales Ltd, have submitted an application to Flintshire County Council for permission to erect a "2m stainless steel human sculpture affixed to the external balcony and railing of Talacre Lighthouse".

That's not a ghost! It sounds more like a killer cyborg from the future, when the world is chock-full of explosions and partial nudity. It bears no resemblance to the actual ghost, said to be 'a man wearing an old-fashioned keeper's coat'. I mean, really. And why a statue at all? If Wookey Hole can hire a witch, why can't these skinflints hire a resting actor to wander about in oilskins emitting the odd groan? He could carry a lamp up and down that spiral staircase at night. 

More info on these ghosties here. Talacre will have to go it some to match the reputation of another lighthouse, however. While not strictly haunted, the lighthouse on Flannan Isle isn't a place I'd happily spend a holiday. Oo-er.

1 comment:

Todd T said...

An actor, some lighting effects, and old ratty tarpaulin flapping in the wind - almost anything would be better than the ultimate in tangibility and firm reality, a hunk of metal. Time for the spook to show what he can do, and toss the thing into the drink.