THE new president of the European Union is a Catholic German vampire who craves the blood of your children, experts warned last night.
As the unelected leaders of Europe chose the unelected Belgian prime minister to be your unelected president, vampirologists revealed Herman Van Rompuy's true identity as a 486 year-old blood-sucking monster of the night.
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I Googled 'Belgian vampire' to find a pic and got this.
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